End of Year Forgiveness and Gratitude

This year hasn’t been easy on me personally, and I know for sure that it hasn’t been easy on anyone I know. I drifted away from some of my most cherished habits and morning routines. I gained a lot of the weight I so laboriously worked to shed off and I lost track of the things that gave me a sense of purpose and progress.

This post is another one of those note-to-self posts where I simply think on paper of new ways to get through the days with a positive onlook and a renewed sense of purpose. One of the most important things I’ve learned is that it never pays to give up and there’s a persistent necessity for a person to forgive their own misgivings and start over with renewed vigor and determination.
This is exactly how I like to tell my story of how I managed to quit smoking over the years. I would have the intention, start the project, it gets difficult, I stop mid tracks and I revert back to where I started, only it gets even worse and I find myself smoking a whole lot more.
It actually took me years to finally stop that filthy habit. I quit for a day, a week, three weeks, three months, and three years, and somehow, I was coming back to being a smoker, but the pattern was evident even to the crude person that I was. I was able to stay the course a lot longer every single time I tried again.
My own personal track record gave me the confidence that I had it in me to succeed. All that was necessary was just try it again and try to take It further. Today, as I’m writing this, it marks five straight years of being a nonsmoker. It actually stopped being something that I need to think about anymore. It seems as if it happened to that whole other person I vaguely remember.
The trick here is to forgive yourself. You can’t be too harsh with yourself, because you are doing the best you can with what you have. You need to tell yourself the magic words: Yes, I can get back up again on my own two feet; I will dust myself off and pick myself up and start back again on the right track. 
Much like it happens with everything hard you’re trying to do, you will stumble and fall. You will fail and you will be overwhelmed with doubt and disappointment. Only persistence will give you the triumph you are striving for. 
All things worthwhile are hard. And all hard things take a really long time to master. Your will is a muscle you must train with persistence and patience and gratitude for every small win.
I am infinitely grateful that I am writing these words to myself and to you my reader whoever you may be and wherever in life you find yourself. 
Life is hard my friends, I am struggling, and I am not even close to reaching the first stage of achievement. One of my favorite quotes attributed to the Buddha says “Your purpose in life is to find your purpose.” And Living up to one’s potential is no walk in the park. I’m in my early forties and when I look back on my own history, I look in utter fascination at those entirely different human beings that resided in my body and my mind. It’s almost too easy to feel this level of detachment having spent 4 decades on earth trying to figure out who I am, what I want out of life.
So, where to go from here? Forward, of course, where else!
New beginnings and new year resolutions get such a bad wrap because they’ve been used too much and almost turned into a cliche with a negative connotation. But milestones and markings on the road and on your calendar always make a difference in how you see your journey and how you can take hold of your destiny and make a difference.
I am going to try to jump-start my morning routines for 2021. I will attempt to again sleep enough hours at night to wake up with a refreshed body and soul. I will attempt to watch my food intake in quality, quantity, and composition. I will figure out how to also jump-start my exercise habit every morning. I’m going to read more and write more.
My next focal point for personal achievement will be on the health-front trying to lose all that extra weight and exercise regularly and live a healthy lifestyle. It’s exactly the same thing as my smoking triumph story, I do have some marvelous track record of success in keeping healthy habits for long periods of time. It shouldn’t be too difficult to do it again.
I have a couple of things in mind for that new beginning. I am going to try to go keto again with intermittent fasting and a restricted feeding routine. I am planning to incorporate Wim Hof ice baths into my morning routine. In addition to all of that, I am also going to keep up my kettlebell swing daily habit as per the Pavel Tsatsouline training routine. 
I have a lot of decent books that will be a required read and re-read to reach my best results and I believe it would be best if I kept writing about all that I am learning and how I am applying it to myself. 
Actually, I am thinking about ramping up my blog posting activities to get those mental juices flowing as often as possible. I am a true believer that writing is in effect the best way to organize one’s thinking. You trap your “monkey mind” on paper and you release all that steam of swirling thoughts bumping against the insides of your skull. 
Learning, writing, and applying that knowledge while attempting to teach it to others through my posts is going to be extremely enjoyable. I can’t wait to start that journey.
Finally, I am grateful for not giving up. I am grateful for getting the opportunity to start over. I am grateful that I have the chance to challenge myself with difficult things.
I hope it will all pay out somehow. I am not going to get hung up on results this time though. I am going to shape habits for the long haul, and for life. Whatever results are coming my way they should start to manifest organically in better health and better decisions.
Wish me luck.
Happy new year.
Love and Peace.


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